Canon has been on stage since he was 13. For years, he molded himself to fit the Christian music space: the right songs for radio, the right words for conferences, the right theology for the right circles. On this episode of WhatItIzWhatItBeezLike?!, he tells King Cyz what that cost him.

During the pandemic, Canon lost cousins, an uncle, and friends he had barely seen because he was always on the road. Grief turned into anger, then depression. He kept releasing music, but he was drinking, smoking, and felt numb at church and in the Word. In therapy, he heard the sentence that changed everything: “You’re not just grieving your family. You’re grieving yourself.”

Then came a moment with God. Through tears, Canon wrote down what he heard: “I did this. I allowed you to feel this pain, so you could lead people out of theirs.”

That moment is the heart of Loose Canon Vol. 4, which he calls “fourth quarter music.” It is honest and turbulent, and much of it was written in the pain. His lesson is simple: you can’t heal while you’re still holding on.

Your homework: Is there a part of you that you’ve lost trying to meet everyone’s expectations? Bring it to God this week, and talk to a counselor or a trusted friend.

Watch the full episode of WhatItIzWhatItBeezLike?!

The episode itself includes Canon talking about suicidal thoughts, so you may want to add a line at the bottom: “If you’re struggling, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.”